Eat the Rich

I've only been living around Georgetown for a couple weeks and already I was invited to a wine tasting. This is the kind of person I have become: from grizzled, scarred son of a mechanic from the great northern parts to a guy who gets invites to wine tastings and watches passing Vespas enviously.

It's important to note that I live in Glover park and not Georgetown proper. As such, I find myself surrounded by rich kids while living in debt myself. For the moment, I fake it--although probably not as hard as some of these Georgetown kids do, come to think of it.

"A wine tasting," I reply slowly. "What a great way to educate my palate."

"I guess you could do that," says Erik, my host. "I'm really just trying to pick up chicks here."

The party is packed with Georgetown guys, flanked by their vacuous dates and their own upturned collars.

Erik greets me and immediately asks what I think of his new glasses. They are phase 2 in the plan to get chicks, says Erik, who has perfect vision.

"Yeah, I picked these up for 8 bucks," said Erik, offering the flat plastic lens for me to try. If they work, it's on to a nice pair of $500 Versaces, he says.

Coincidently, 8 bucks is about what I paid for the wine I brought. It is doled out chilled, without anyone knowing what the brand is. Everyone loves it.

Eventually, Erik is drawn into a prolonged pose-off with another thick-rimmed yuppie about bicycling through regions of France. At this point it must seem like I'm obviously making this all up, but no--bicycling through France, for real.

Later, I'm playing pool with one of Erik's roommates (they have their own pool table). He says he's in the market for a new sports car and asks if he should get a Corvette or a Lotus Elise.

"Well, the Lotus Elise is so small, it would be a great city car," I muse. "Besides, high horsepower is for chuckleheads, low weight is where it's at. Ain't no acceleration limit."

"Yeah, I was kinda thinking that. I thought maybe get it in silver."

"Well, I remember when I bought my first Lotus, and this was in the game Gran Turismo 3, I went for light green."

He nods. Later on, he would meet his girlfriend, a Redskins cheerleader, for more drinks.

Ugh. I'm still not making this stuff up.

-Casey